Busting myself

I had a staff meeting at my studio this evening. We talked about what's working and what's not working. I laid out my plans and goals for the new year and gave suggestions on how we can work together to help achieve these goals.

I also admitted that one of my character defects is that I make great plans and even say I'll have something done by a particular time, then something comes up or I get distracted and it falls by the wayside. Something as simple as updating my mailing list and printing out the labels or sending out a monthly email. It's not like I think I'm fooling anyone or that they don't notice but I've asked my staff to mention it to me if I haven't followed through with something - even if they think it might annoy me. I told them that it would annoy me but that I'd be mad at myself and not them and that they'd be doing me a big favor.

I'm grateful to be able to admit stuff like that now. My ego used to get in the way all the time and I would make excuses. em has been a big help in this regard. I've learned by her example. She busts herself a lot, even for some stuff that I don't think she should claim responsibility for.

I just have to remember - working through these defects happens in three stages: Awareness, Acceptance & Action. I think I'm on the Action part here. I also need to remind myself it's all about progress, not perfection.

Back in the Groove

I started back to my usual class schedule today after a month of not teaching. It was a hard month. I seemed to be swirling emotionally on a fairly regular basis. I chalked it up to the stress of trying to make all the planned changes to the place. That was partly it.

I realized today that a lot of this instability was due to not doing my usual thing at my usual time. As soon as the first class started, I was feeling like my old self. I enjoyed being with my people, in my spot, at my time. I had enough energy left over at 8 o'clock tonight that I met eduardo for a set of tennis. I had a great time! He beat me 6-4, but it wasn't due to a lack of energy. I just kept hitting the damn ball too far. Too much energy? No, not enough top spin. I was serving well most of the time though.

Anyway. It's interesting to discover what a creature of habit I am. I'm feeling hopeful about the studio, whatever comes my way.