The roles we play

The full wolf moon last night was amazing! The color of the entire sky was this deep, rich midnight blue. I'm grateful to have seen it.

I went to an Al-anon meeting this morning that takes place on the beach. It was like a summer day out there. I was wearing jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt and was roasting!

The topic was the roles we assume in our families and lives. You know like people-pleaser, drama king or queen, rebel, scapegoat, mediator etc. and how these roles get swapped around from time to time. I shared that I am a recovering super hero. There is such a rush when you swoop in and feel like you fixed a problem or prevented someone some pain. The trouble is that you enable that person not to do it for themselves. Obviously that's not terrible from time to time. If you actually pull someone off the tracks before an oncoming train hits them, I'm thinking that's understandable. But there are so many more times that you need to let other people deal with things themselves and get the benefits from the struggle those lessons bring. It's hard though, especially when you love those people. Supporting them is one thing when they ask but knowing when and where to stay the hell out of the way is another. I'm working on this.

There is an even bigger rush when you see someone you care about step up to the plate and find solutions for themselves. My kids are a prime example. The more I step back the more competent they become.