Indulgent wording

Here's a challenge for you bloggers. Most of the people I read write with this great conversational tone. How about taking some regular sentence or paragraph and turn it into a gaudy, large, complicated, word heavy masterpiece. Have fun with it.

Here's an example: The grass felt cool under my feet.

The plant of the family Gramineae, having jointed stems, sheathing leaves, and seedlike grains enriched me by imparting a sensation of moderate coldness and comfortable freedom from the heat in the subordinate position of the terminal part of my leg, below the ankle joint, on which my body balances in a verticle upright positon and ambulates.

I had a great time with this. Between dictionary.com, my daughter, and a thesaurus, we were able to turn this simple sentence into one of pompus wordiness.This amused me very much. Take the first sentence that pops into your mind. Go ahead and give it a try!