Flash

I woke up with a hot flash early this morning. I thought maybe I had experienced one or two before in the past year, but I wasn't sure; it wasn't so obvious. This woke me from a sound sleep. I had to peel back the covers. I was actually sweating. It didn't last long and I pulled the covers back up and went back to sleep. Menopause. Wow, isn't that what old women go through? Yeah, em, I can hear your response.

I know this is supposed to affect one emotionally. It's all pretty confusing whether it's "the change" or not. I'm thinking about balance a lot lately. I can look at the same situation at different times with different perspectives and feel glad, or mad, or sad (I'm not trying to sound like Dr. Suess here with all this rhyming) or enthusiastic or discouraged or a hundred other things, so which one it the truth? Is there such a thing as truth or, what may be termed, a healthy perspective? Should I disregard some feelings for others? If I do this am I manipulating my emotions or is this what everyone does to get by in this life and not get swamped with uncomfortable thoughts? I often feel the need to distract myself when I get all pushed around in these whirlwind musings. Avoidance? Probably.

I'm grateful for the emotions, the flashes of insight, fleeting though they are, and knowing that I have a few coping mechanisms when needed.

2008 has been a year of change and, as they say - the only real constant is change. I'm going to shut up now except to wish everyone a Happy New Year!