survival and support
I survived the 25th. Nothing of huge note happened. That's good. I do not want that responsibility.
Here's a copy of an email I sent to some family, friends and acquaintances:
Hi Everyone,
It's Anabel. Most of you know me or have known me in the past. I'm hoping you'll take the time to read this email. This is very important to me. I am a kind, caring, responsible individual who really loves her kids, family and friends. I work hard. I try to do the right thing.
What many of you may not know about me is that I'm gay. I knew I was attracted to girls way back in Jr. High School. I was scared about these feelings. Scared what my family and friends would say. Scared that I would be teased and hated. Scared of being rejected. I didn't WANT to have these feelings so I buried them as far down as I could. I did what all the other girls did. I dated boys. I had boyfriends and I eventually got married to a really decent man. I had children. Still those other feelings would come up from time to time. There came a point when I realized that I was living a large part of my life as a lie. My marriage ended due to many factors, and this was one of them.
Being gay is NOT A CHOICE. Many people, like me, CHOOSE to TRY to deny those feelings. I've been going to a Coming Out Support Group and hear "my story" over and over. I also hear painful stories of people who's families literally threw them out on the streets when they found out. The kid they claimed to love one day is no longer considered part of the family the next. It's heartbreaking! And for something they have no more control over than the color of their eyes!
So why am I telling you all this? Because there is a proposition on the California ballot that wants to make sure that gay people feel excluded from society. They say it's a moral issue. What it's really about is some religious extremists who want us to forget that we have a separation of church and state. They want us to think that the loving feelings that happen between same sex couples is somehow different than heterosexual couples and should be labeled differently. Marriage is THEIR word. They are willing to lie about the issue and spend millions of dollars to convince the voters that the "normal" people and children would be at risk. I strongly feel that all that money could have gone to help the poor, feed the hungry or other charitable causes.
I've been out volunteering my time for the No on 8 Campaign. Many people are supportive but I've encountered some extremely hateful individuals. I was shocked! It reminded me of some of the alarming footage I've seen when Martin Luther King Jr. and others were out trying to get support for desegregation and civil rights. We were instructed to just say "thank you" and gracefully disengage if people got hostile. I had to do this occasionally (sometimes while being screamed at!) I would sometimes have to find a place to just sit and cry. These people showed such hatred for me and they didn't even know me.
I feel that continuing to allow same sex couples to marry actually strengthens marriage for all. Why? Then those who are gay might have a better chance to accept themselves and not feel compelled to try to prove that they're straight by marrying people that they are not predisposed to be in a relationship with. Lives get broken up this way.
I'm now in love with a caring, sensitive, intelligent woman. Because of issues dealing with coming out later in life, there are many struggles we're having to work through. Yet I feel, for the first time in my life, that no matter what happens, I'm finally who I was meant to be. It carries over into every part of my life. I'm no longer lying to myself or unreasonably scared of rejection.
So please, consider what I've written. Please vote NO on Prop. 8. Feel free to forward this to others, especially if you live out of state. Thanks for reading. May life bring you truth, beauty and love.
Anabel
Readers, feel free to use any part of this post in support of the NO on 8 cause.
It's Anabel. Most of you know me or have known me in the past. I'm hoping you'll take the time to read this email. This is very important to me. I am a kind, caring, responsible individual who really loves her kids, family and friends. I work hard. I try to do the right thing.
What many of you may not know about me is that I'm gay. I knew I was attracted to girls way back in Jr. High School. I was scared about these feelings. Scared what my family and friends would say. Scared that I would be teased and hated. Scared of being rejected. I didn't WANT to have these feelings so I buried them as far down as I could. I did what all the other girls did. I dated boys. I had boyfriends and I eventually got married to a really decent man. I had children. Still those other feelings would come up from time to time. There came a point when I realized that I was living a large part of my life as a lie. My marriage ended due to many factors, and this was one of them.
Being gay is NOT A CHOICE. Many people, like me, CHOOSE to TRY to deny those feelings. I've been going to a Coming Out Support Group and hear "my story" over and over. I also hear painful stories of people who's families literally threw them out on the streets when they found out. The kid they claimed to love one day is no longer considered part of the family the next. It's heartbreaking! And for something they have no more control over than the color of their eyes!
So why am I telling you all this? Because there is a proposition on the California ballot that wants to make sure that gay people feel excluded from society. They say it's a moral issue. What it's really about is some religious extremists who want us to forget that we have a separation of church and state. They want us to think that the loving feelings that happen between same sex couples is somehow different than heterosexual couples and should be labeled differently. Marriage is THEIR word. They are willing to lie about the issue and spend millions of dollars to convince the voters that the "normal" people and children would be at risk. I strongly feel that all that money could have gone to help the poor, feed the hungry or other charitable causes.
I've been out volunteering my time for the No on 8 Campaign. Many people are supportive but I've encountered some extremely hateful individuals. I was shocked! It reminded me of some of the alarming footage I've seen when Martin Luther King Jr. and others were out trying to get support for desegregation and civil rights. We were instructed to just say "thank you" and gracefully disengage if people got hostile. I had to do this occasionally (sometimes while being screamed at!) I would sometimes have to find a place to just sit and cry. These people showed such hatred for me and they didn't even know me.
I feel that continuing to allow same sex couples to marry actually strengthens marriage for all. Why? Then those who are gay might have a better chance to accept themselves and not feel compelled to try to prove that they're straight by marrying people that they are not predisposed to be in a relationship with. Lives get broken up this way.
I'm now in love with a caring, sensitive, intelligent woman. Because of issues dealing with coming out later in life, there are many struggles we're having to work through. Yet I feel, for the first time in my life, that no matter what happens, I'm finally who I was meant to be. It carries over into every part of my life. I'm no longer lying to myself or unreasonably scared of rejection.
So please, consider what I've written. Please vote NO on Prop. 8. Feel free to forward this to others, especially if you live out of state. Thanks for reading. May life bring you truth, beauty and love.
Anabel
Readers, feel free to use any part of this post in support of the NO on 8 cause.
posted by anabel @ 12:40 AM
2 Comments:
Great letter. I may just use it.
Thanks, Anabel. I was about to ask if I could post it on my blog. It's a very well-written and touching letter.
Anne
Post a Comment
<< Home