Out there!

Man! This has been an interesting weekend so far. I think there are three posts from it and Sunday is just getting started. So I don't forget, I got one on seeing two dykes almost get in a fight, another on realizing that even the most capable people are really painfully awkward in some situations and this....

Yesterday I went to a Farmer's Market in a cool area of LA near the beach. I was there to lend support as a volunteer for Equality For All, an organization working to make/keep marraige legal for same-sex couples. (see my last post for details) I got connected with them at the Indigo Girls concert. They had a table and display and I walked up to get info. They said they were asking people to volunteer to go out and get this grass root effort going.

So I show up at the appointed time. Carlos and Moof are there and they work full time for the organization. I'm the only volunteer that shows up. I'm given a clipboard with a script and we run through the proceedure.

First of all I thought we were going to have a booth and interested people would walk up talk to us. No we have to walk up to people and say, "Hi, do you support the freedom to marry for gay and lesbian couples?" If yes then give them such and such vital info and try to get them to volunteer to go out like I am or get a donation. If no just say "Thanks, have a great day!" (or something positive like that)

This was really hard for me but I think this is such an important key issue for so many different reasons that I suck it up and do it.

I'd say more than half were supportive but couldn't help out with time or money. That was OK. I understand that, plus last Thursday they assigned a Proposition number to it so I was able to encourage them to get everyone they know to vote NO on Prop 8. A lot of people thought the State Supreme Court decision made the legality a done deal and they were outraged that the right wing extremeists were fighting so hard to overturn it. The fact is they've already raised over 2 million dollars and have over 100,000 volunteers to help get this thing passed. One person said that 8 would be easy to remember cause it rhymes with "hate." I'll bet that one gets used.

So there were many positive interactions but there were some very negative ones too. We were told not to profile people too much but to go up to as many people as possible. I walked up to this older hispanic woman and said my first line. She stopped, looked at me and said "What?" I repeated myself and she answers, "I'm a Christian." I say many Christians support this right and she says "I go by the Bible!" I thank her and leave and as I'm walking away she's loudly asking me if I've read about Sodom and Gomorah.

One kinda hip looking guys says he supports the freedom to marry. I start to go on and he says "But I don't get homosexuality, I don't get the whole ass hole thing" I'm trying to find my "get out" line and he continues about seeing porn (I'll spare you the details but it didn't have anything to do with homosexuality as far as I could tell) and I just leave saying if you object don't watch it. He clearly wants to engage so again as I'm walking away he's loudly telling me how he saw Tommy Lee masterbating.

Some people took the "ignore her and she'll go away response." I got a few "talk to the hand" gestures. The hardest one was this area where there was this big long newstand in the center of the street. I was across on the sidewalk. Carlos, who had come to find me to see how I was doing, left and talked to someone near the magazines. The owner, or at least the guy working there, comes up to me. I look up in my usual friendly way and he has this complete look of disgust on his face. He says "I want to ask you not to talk to my customers." I say "we're just here asking for support on this issue." He says "I know" in that same disgusted way. I say, "I'm over here on the sidewalk, I think this is fine." He says "Actually the freedom of speech area starts at the end right there but I won't bother you if you stay over here." I say, gulping back all the things I really want to say and remembering the disengage talk we had in our training, "Thanks, I'll let Carlos know too" Ok I get the bothering customers thing. (I wasn't doing it and Carlos had only gone up to one person who seemed to be enjoying the conversation.) I own a business myself but it was the energy of this guy. He was close to seething but I suspect it was more about the issue. He must have heard several of the conversations I was having with people. He knew what our issue was. It pissed him off.

I wanted to walk away and quit. I almost started crying. I tend to get emotional that way when when I feel like I've been treated unfairly. I told Carlos and he smiled so sweetly and said "OK, I didn't know thanks for telling me" and off he went.

I carried on. I decided to use my just "let it go" attitude and remember that I'm doing this more for the people who have lived with shame for their feelings and that when I was younger, if marraige would have been legal for EVERYONE, it would have given my feelings some legitimacy, regardless of the how my family would have reacted. I want us to move as a society to a place of acceptence. My whole life was directed by this disapproval and there has been a LOT of fall out as I'm moving to be true to myself. I got a good dose of putting myself out there and getting a sense of people's reactions. Like I said before, there was definitely more supportive people but a fair amount of disapproval. All in all it was a very eye opening experience.