Compersion

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Compersion is love manifested when a person takes joy in his or her loved one's happiness with another person. It is a form of empathy; that is, pleasure that a loved one is experiencing a good thing in his or her life. It need not be sexual. This distinguishes it from erotic excitement in watching another person or persons behaving sexually, known as voyeurism.

Feeling compersion for the first time is sometimes described as frightening and disorienting because it runs contrary to the jealousy most cultures believe one is likely to feel in such circumstances.

The term was coined by the Kerista Commune in San Francisco which practiced polyfidelity, and is one of the core values of polyamory.

The adjective frubbly is sometimes used within the poly community in the United Kingdom to describe the feeling of compersion.^[1]

^{So I saw this word, compersion, on a shirt that was being sold on-line. I looked it up on dictionary.com but there were no matches so I google searched it and got a lot of sites that talk about this.}

^{I like this definition. I've experienced compersion in the relationship with em and eduardo. It's really a nice place to be. Love seems less quantifiable and more infinite when you realize that there is room in your heart to romantically love two people. I can see how this could include more people than two and obviously there are many ways to love and certain people fill needs in your life. As far as a commited, loving and sexual relationship goes, two others looks like my limit. I'm really happy where I'm at now.}

^{As far as jealousy goes, I do experience it from time to time but not because I'm jealous of the fact that em and eduardo are deeply in love; I celebrate this. The jealousy comes from wishing we were all living together. From knowing that they get to spend almost every night or at least parts of each night snuggled up in bed together. This, though, makes the time I do get to spend with them really special. The sex is amazing but it's not always about this. It's often that warm feeling of sharing cozy space with the ones you love. It's shopping and making dinners together. It's the whole family gathering for a DVD and laughing or commenting on what we're watching. It about going and climbing trees together. It's about sharing our lives in intimate ways.}

I'm feeling pretty secure that we are working toward a future where we all live under the same roof. I know tht this will bring some unique challenges but I also know the level of love and commitment there is here and I believe we'll be ready for that challenge.