Caught off guard

I was having an on-again off-again hard day yesterday. It wasn't like the whole day sucked or anything but I was battling feelings of sadness that kept washing over me at any moment that I wasn't totally distracted. My friend Jane asked me if I was alright and do you know what tragic, drama-filled response I gave as I walked away? I said "I'm never alright." What a load of bullshit that is and where the fuck did it come from? I hated that I said it the moment it left my mouth. I ended up calling her and the others who heard me and told them that it wasn't true and that I was somehow caught off guard by Jane when the sadness wave was at high tide.

Today was better. I took my kids and my daughter's friend to the Queen Mary ship and spent a pleasant afternoon with them. Then I went out to dinner with some women I met at the dance club that I sometimes go to on Sundays. They were fun. Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's house for dinner and a board game night so I'm still keepin' busy. That seems to be what's working for me now.