Hyper Responsible

Here is the thing I have been stuggling with of late. The feeling like I'm responsible for too many things in my life and in some cases in other peoples lives.

I realize it's rooted in my self esteem. I knew people would like me if I brought some value into their lives. With my parents it was pride. I was the good kid and it gave me a boost to be the succesfull one; good grades, graduating colledge, sports etc. It was odd to think that someone could like or love me for who I am and not feel the need to be some kind of asset.

In my business I try to do everything. What I need to do is delegate some of the responsibiliy to others and focus on the parts I like the best. I have every intention of doing this then fall into the "I'm the only one who can do this right" mentality.

This is affecting both my personal and business life. I was really upset about this the other morning so it's definitely something I need to work on. It seems big, like I'm having to let go of my security blanket.

I started my moon time the next day, so at least I know patially where the emotional outburst came from. Now I'm feeling less pushed about and can get some clarity on this. I'm learning so much about myself every day. It's a bit unnerving meeting new parts of me that have been hiding under layers of crap.

Goth Barbie

My good streak of posting fell by the wayside. I was enjoying getting to this every day. No promises, but I'll try to keep it coming fairly regularly.

My daughter has a friend spending the night tonight, It's somewhat amusing to listen to their conversations. I'm not eavesdropping, I can hear them from my room.

Friend just said that she's decided to dress as Goth Barbie for Halloween. She's pretty creative, so I don't doubt she can pull it off.

Now they're talking to Daughter's pet rat. Both of their voices have gone up at least two octives. And now they're trying to speak in hauty British accents. They're amusing themselves greatly. It's so great having friends no matter what your age!