Son growing up

In order for my vast readership to stay awake, I have decided to change fonts. I have it on good authority that Times New Roman right out.

Now on with the show!

My son is 17 and a half years old; less then six months away from officially being an adult. Guess what? This scares the shit out of him!

He's been avoiding working toward a drivers liscense, so I've started being less inclined to drive him places. He wanted to meet some friends at Disneyland recently and asked for a ride. I told him that I would be willing to pick him up that night on my way to taking he and his sister to meet their Dad, but that he was responsible for getting himself there. He checked out the bus schedule on-line and made it with one transfer. Seems like a small thing but it was one step toward independence.

I told him he had one month to study for and take the Driver's learners permit test. He was annoyed with me but got to it the same evening. Tonight we had another college talk. Son is a writer and a damn good one. He hopes to make a living someday doing something creative like this. He would be a senior in high school this coming year but the fact that we homeschool, or more appropriately un-school means that we don't keep track of what grade he's in.

Anyway, I've also let him know that I expect him to take at least one college class this fall. Any class he wants, to get his feet wet. He says he'll do it (as if he had a choice) but confided in me that this whole adult thing has snuck up on him way too fast and he feels resistant to accepting the challenges that this entails. He said he wished he had just one more year "off" before having to this face this stuff.

I let him relate these feelings of trepidation, then told him taking one college class and getting his learners permit were just little baby steps. No one was pushing him into full time college and car ownership/responsibilities for at least another year so that really, he was geting his wish.

"I guess" he said in that voice that means he'll think this over.

The world out there can look pretty scary. He says he's afraid of screwing up while driving and getting into an accident. I said "We'll start in a big parking lot with no other traffic and slowly work our way up. No big hurry." I also said that the first time he drives by himself somewhere he wants to go and experiences tha feeling of freedom he'll understand that it's so worth getting past the fear.

As for me, part of me wishes he was a few years younger and I wouldn't have to be starting that big push put of the nest. It's a bit scary for me to think of him out in the world without me holding his hand.

He's such a great guy. He's smart, sensitive, amazingly creative and has a sense of humor very similar to mine. We can talk and laugh and have really interesting discussions. I'll miss him terribly when he is finally out on his own but we've created a foundation for a relationship that I feel will continue to grow and change in positive ways for the rest of our lives. I love him very much. I can relate to his fear but can't hold him too tight now. He's got to learn to fly!