Jeff

I met Jeff when we were both in the second grade. He was a very friendly boy and had no problem meeting new people. He had this infectious grin and kind of devilish laugh. He had just moved to Bellflower from a farm in South Dakota. He missed it very much and always said he wanted to move back there. I thought being a farmer would be a really great thing and liked him right off.

We were friends all through elementary school. A sort of romance gradually made itself known by the fifth grade. He was the first boy I ever kissed.

Our family moved about 20 miles away the summer before the sixth grade. Jeff called me every Sunday. He considered me his girlfriend and I kind of went along with it till I started "going steady" with another boy.

Jeff became my friend again and would still call once a week. I don't remember much drama involved with this. He started out as a friend and the boyfriend stuff was just experimental at this point.

To make a long story a bit shorter, Jeff would remain my friend when I was dating someone and would ask me out when I wasn't. Looking back I guess I was using him but that wasn't readily apparent to me. (Slightly clueless I was) I shared many things with him that I didn't share with others such as my abortion. He was so supportive.

This all continued till his 21st birthday when he asked me to go to Vegas with him, stay at his sister's house, and help him celebrate. I ended up having sex with him for the first time and knew right away I made a big mistake. He was my friend and this complicated things and took us to a place this relationship was never meant to go.

Not long after he was visiting his relatives in South Dakota and met his future wife. He moved back there and is still married with four kids. We would talk about once a year, ususally he would call to wish me a happy birthday. I called him this year. It was the usual catch up call. I've known his wife was jealous of our friendship so this was as often as it was comfortable to call.

I told him about my divorce, which surprised him. He called back a few days later and asked about the circumstances of my split. I couldn't really talk so I called him back and relayed some of the details including the lastest with em and now also eduardo.
He, again, was super supportive.

He also told me that I broke his heart back in the day, but that the thing that he was most disappointed about was that our friendship had to be put on the back burner because of his wife. He told me that there were two people he would do anything for because of the strong connection he felt for them and that was me and his other childhood friend, Robert.

I wish I could talk to him more often. I realize how much I miss him but I would not, in any way, want to compromise his relationship with his wife. He said he would call in a few months instead of a year. I told him he's welcome to call anytime but I would not initate any more than the usual amount of calls.

I guess this is just how things go sometimes. I have some cherished memories with this person and feel that this relationship was and is very important in my life. Friendships like this are very rare, I think.