and the universe speaks...

I had an interesting experience a couple of months back. I was having a whacky brain day; dwelling on things that were not doing me any good. I knew this but couldn't seem to let it go. I thought about a lyric from a song by local band, "The Stange Attractors" that used to be together about six years ago. It said "My mind's a dangerous neighborhood - don't want to go in alone - bring a chaperone." It made me laugh, so I dug out their CD. As I listened to it that day, it seemed like some of the songs on there were directly speaking to me.

I causually know one of the singer-songwriters of this duo. Tricia Pilkington is a really talented, nice, and beautiful person. I've had some nice conversations with her when we ended up at the same party or event in the small mountain community I used to live in.

I decided to email her (which I had never done before) and let her know that her music had a positive effect on me at a time when I really needed it. I was a bit embarrased because I didn't want to come off as a groupy or anything. I almost didn't send it but I just felt strongly compelled to.

The next day I got a response that gave me chills.

She said that morning, during her regular morning prayers, she had asked for just one affirmation that she should continue with her music. She was feeling like the whole endevor was too time consuming and self indulgent. She got my message. It made her cry. It was the sign she needed to start a new recording project that very week.

Just the right message at just the right time. We were there for each other. The universe seems to have used both of us. We were it's voice.

What's up?

It's been a long time since I've posted. It's been an insightful month. So much has happened that it seems like six months have passed.

The main thing is that em and I are working through a large backlog of emotional stuff; things that were keeping us pretty off balance and hindering the establishment of a solid relationship. Much of my struggles stemmed from operating from this off balance place. We are working really hard to get some perspective. It seems to be working very well, especially for me.

I believe that we were meant to be together and that the same goes for her and eduardo. We all have work to do to find that place where we can live our life, lean on each other for support and find those challenges that help us grow from places outside the relationship. This has all come from a really hard and painful place. I keep thinking of this as a healing crises and I seem to be coming out the other end feeling more stable within myself than I ever have in my life.

Thanks, everyone, for the support.

In other news, my daughter turned 15 last Friday. She had a 30's era swing party that ended up being one of the best parties I've ever hosted. Em helped plan and supervise the food and my son put together custom jazz CD's of daughter's favorite songs.

I threw together a brown pin stripe Zoot Suit outfit that was so fun to wear. I've always loved wearing "man" style clothes. I used to country swing dance a lot in college and got pretty good at taking the lead position so I got a bunch of my daughters friends out on the floor and showed them a few moves. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed swing dancing.

Daughter looked great in a really cute dress and most of the guests obliged her by sprucing it up quite a bit. It gave the party a cool element of fun. Son looked like a jazz musician and did a great job being the DJ in the two rooms at my martial arts studio.

Things are looking up in many areas of my life. It's nice to feel so optimistic about the future.